Ok folks time for my first top list and boy is it a dozy. Here they are folks. My top ten shows that should have never aired. These are in no particular order.
Ah yes the Teletubbies. See I have a rule. Don’t talk to babies in that cutsie baby talk nonsense. Your teaching them a fake language that will do far more harm to their development then you think. We have enough with kids going into school not speaking English (not a raciest, just annoyed that our nation caters to fucking lazy people who don’t want to learn the language.), but now you have them coming into school with these fake languages that no one, NO ONE CAN FUCKING UNDERSTAND!!!!
O god, THIS FUCKING SHOW!!!!!!!!!!! I was in remedial math in high school. Kind of funny since when I was in forth grade I helped my upstairs neighbor with her algebra and she got it right, but what ever. Anyway I was one of only two guys in my class. And all one girl would talk about was how she was going to be on this fucking show. So let me rundown the show for those of you who haven’t seen it (lucky you.) MTV (o how the mighty have fallen) fallow around a spoiled brat as they plan out their 16th birthday party… that’s it. That’s the whole fucking show. A spoiled brat whining about how they want this and that for their birthday. Hang on to your seats folks it get worse. MTV doesn’t even front the bill, The parents pay for it all. Every decoration, article of cloths, everything. This people, was the start of the downhill slide. And it only get worse.
Ok MTV this is strike two. Pimp My Ride. This show was not as vain as some of the others on this list. I really only had one issue with it. You see most of the cars weren’t street legal when they were done. Matter of fact one car in particular always comes to mind:
So anyone notice the glaring reason why this car is no longer street legal? Anyone? If you don’t your blind. That’s not decal on the door, IT’S THE REFLECTION FROM ACROSS THE FUCKING STREET!!! This was the most blatant one though. The rest was all minor stuff that could have been removed. It also started the craze of supping up any car under the fucking sun. As mentioned in a earlier post I work at a gas station and I really don’t want to go deaf when you start up your fucking Volkswagen Beetle after filling up on regular even though the turbo charge you put in there is supposed to take premium.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO MUSIC STATIONS?!?!? Behold Flavor of Love, the source material for all of the garbage that’s on VH1 now. I had a lot to choose from because of this garbage but I decided to go right to the fucking source. Also see how it says 3, yeah the only decent sized logo I could find was a promotion for the up coming third season. A THIRD SEASON!?!?! Ok so what’s wrong with this show? Well might be easier to say what’s good about it. Its… well its got… well there is… well its pretty… You know what there’s nothing good about this fucking show. NEXT!!
Ladies and gentle We have come to the origin of the species. This show, just dear fucking god. For those of you who spent the opening years of the last decade in a hole, covered in rocks, and had an out house built on it, this is the premise of this show. Paris Hilton, who’s famous for…. something, and Nicole Richie, who’s Lionel Richie daughter (not a reason to be famous) force themselves to live like regular people. Get it, cause their rich. They learn nothing, their definition of normal people are lower middle class Americans (please note that at this time I can actually be considered lower middle class, but at the time that this show aired the average American was middle to upper middle class) and they continue to show just how stupid people can be. After the show ended Paris Hilton went and died in a movie about having hot wax dumped on her and by having long hard cylindrical jammed into her face. Two things in my opinion should be used to. And Nicole Richie got Knocked up and married Joel Madden. Moving on.
MTV? AGAIN? What you promise you won’t anymore? Ok, I’ll Put the sledge hammer down. Ok so, Shot at Love with Tila Tequila. I’m going to say this right now, There was one good thing about this show. I know right? Madness. This show was the first and only one I’ve ever seen where the individual doing the eliminating had the ability to pick someone of the same gender. Other then that… Well it sucked. It was no better then Flavor of Love or any of that garbage. While it had an innovative idea, it still made me want to beat up squirrels.
Imagine if you will survivor, A show that I did a one point enjoy. Now mix that with The Surreal Life (wait you’ll see) and you have this. None of the were famous. My memories consist of me and my mom watching this and making fun of the dumbasses they pretend to be in trouble. Keyword: Pretend.
Were at the home stretch folks, as you may have noticed the rants are getting shorter. Reason is quite simple. The big one is coming at number one and I’m saving my energy.
Big Brother with a bunch of washed up celebrities. Vanilla Ice was even on it at one point. Surprisingly the people in the house got him the sing Ice Ice Baby at a karaoke bar. Other then that I really can’t remember much.
O this show, I remember this show. 1999, Last year of the millennium. This show premieres. Hey, My fellow men. Here’s a great idea. If you want to prove your not a bunch of fucking Tucker Maxs ( I really hate this mother fucker.) Don’t put shit like this out. You make guys like me who actually give two shits about women a hard time proving that all men aren’t pigs.
Ah here it is. If this list was in any kind of order this cumstain would be at this spot for sure. Sorry folks no more real joke after this point. Just seething rage that needs to be vented. It is everything I hate. It is the bane of my existence. Nothing has caused more rage then the existence of this show. And I read One More Day. This is Number 1:
That’s right this piece of garbage is number one. Where to start? Well start with the most important fact. None of these fuckers are from Jersey. They are from Staten Island. New York. Not Jersey. They hang out in Jersey, that’s all. They are horrible people who continue to spread a stereotype that has existed since I was in high school, one I had hoped would die. They stand for everything I hate, People with money who could buy anything they want rubbing it in the faces of those of us who have to struggle to survive. These are the types of people that make me sick everyday knowing that they exist. They make Italian Americans look like jokes, and what’s worse is how so many try to emulate them. It’s gotten so big it was even on an episode of South Park. PLJ even made a song for it for the Scot and Todd Show. The thing though that put these fuckers on my radar was the lose of one of my favorite eateries. Bubba’s Doghouse. It moved to the shore because of these failed abortions. I never even heard about them before that. When I looked it up after words though the hate started to brew. This mutations of the human genome are not the type of people that should be looked up to, but cast down. The day will come when this sad sacks crash and burn, and me and every other real Jersian will stand over their broken remains. And I will look down at them and I will whisper into their ears “Veni Vidi Vici” I came, I saw, I concurred. I’m Mops, And I’m One Pissed off Geek, and if you’ll excuse me, MTV has to meet my friend Elinore.